The War on Cakes

Sam likes chocolate cake. He likes to eat lots and lots of chocolate cake. Unfortunately, because Sam likes to eat lots and lots of chocolate cake, Sam is 539 pounds and will probably die young because of that incredibly delicious chocolate cake.

Mary is his next-door-neighbor in his nice neighborhood. Mary sees how Sam likes to eat lots and lots of cake. Mary recognizes that this is obesity and is going to mess up his life. She knows that eating the cake is going to cause him to probably die much, much younger than not eating it. Mary knows that Sam is not the only one. So she starts a nation-wide campaign in an effort to

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Comments

3 Responses to “The War on Cakes”

  1. MAF on September 19th, 2007 2:31 pm

    Awesome analogy. I might just link this up on my blog.

  2. B. on September 20th, 2007 9:47 am

    Your theory would be perfectly fine if:

    >The Government didn’t pay for his heathcare.

    >He was forced to have a vasectomy so his kids aren’t abused and/or left for the state to raise(on my taxes).

    >If the community or government aren’t responsible for the mice, roaches, lawn care, or roofing of his house.

    >If no one is responsible for his corpse removal after dying. On a side note, this wouldn’t work because he would stink and his house would junk up the neighborhood.

    >While Sam is still alive, who is going to support him? He’s too fat to stand more than 20 minutes. He’s going to run out of money sometime, making him beg and steal from other people, which I agree, would make him lose a few pounds. If he is supported by the state, it comes to the age old, I’m encroached upon for my taxes, socialism, etc.

    Your friend,
    Barley

  3. Shaun Connell on September 20th, 2007 9:52 am

    Barley,

    Morally speaking, the government /isn’t/ responsible for those things. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Also, technically we aren’t paying for all of the programs that are socialistic right now. The US is just printing money for those things. Again, two wrongs don’t make a right. :)

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